What's The Deal With...Authority?
What is Authority? Well, the Oxford dictionary has three definitions…yes, three!
“the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience”
“a person or organization having power or control in a particular, typically political or administrative, sphere”
“the power to influence others, especially because of one’s commanding manner or one’s recognized knowledge about something”
To me every single one of these reads as though someone else will always have a higher authority over you, period, end of story. I don’t love that!!
Don’t get me wrong, I am a law-abiding empath that really likes research and exploring what experts have to say and contribute to our society as a whole. However, I also believe there is an authority in each of us that is not given a specified definition in our society. Even though our inner authority is what truly dictates how we move through this world.
Who has Authority over you?
Ok, ok… when I say this I know the first thing that happens is either you baulk and say ‘no one’ or you go through the laundry list of the obvious ‘the government, the law, my boss, etc…’ Neither of these answers are what I am talking about. Do they play a role, yes, but who in your everyday life whether in actuality or in perception has authority over you?
This could be a friend, a partner, and yes, even a child. These are people that influence your decisions and have some degree of control over the decisions you make as you move through your life. Now, what I really want you to remember is, this is not necessarily a bad thing nor are these people necessarily doing so intentionally. There are a lot of reasons why others have authority in our lives.
Some of these reasons include safety, empathy, life connection, mutual decisions, and co-parenting to name a few. In considering these people and the authority they have in your life remember that you get to choose the level and significance that authority plays. You are entirely in control of every choice you make even if it is in some part influenced by others.
What Authority do you possess?
All of it. The answer to that question in unequivocally and unquestioningly ALL. OF. IT!!!!
In a previous blog I talked about permission. This is one of the primary authorities you have! You have the permission to grant or deny access to your thoughts, your process and your decisions to anyone at anytime.
You do not owe anyone an explanation regarding any part of your process if you choose not to explain it. You do not owe anyone your time and you do not have to share your time.
It may not seem like it when our anxiety about what others do or will think kicks in, but you have the authority to sculpt and choose exactly how you want your life to look in every single moment to which you have access. Giving yourself the opportunity to allow people in and be a part of the conversation is your choice. Taking time to do what you need to fill up your cup, you have the authority to make that a priority. Need time in your comfort zone, you have the authority to stay there for a while and come out when you’re ready.
You have the power to choose all things for yourself.
Authority is Power
Ultimately, authority is synonymous with power. Your power is yours and it is renewable. If you feel that it has been taken or damaged that is where assessment needs to happen.
Reclaiming your power takes bravery and effort and does not happen overnight. It happens one small decision at a time. Work towards moving through each decision you make as one that will influence the current moment ONLY. Give yourself permission to adjust your power as new information becomes available. Power is being consistent and focused on the direction you want things move towards.
Setting boundaries with others is a huge part of standing in your power! When you feel the push or pull of someone else’s influence stronger than yours, it’s time to look at where your boundaries have landed. Later this month I will talk more on this specifically but for now, when making decisions for your life make sure your voice is the loudest in the room!
You are the ultimate authority in your life! Stand in your power!